In the eyes of a eunuch

On a busy day, as I was trying to meet both ends of my job-list, I had one of my most cherished human experiences. I was racing towards the commercial hub of Bangalore city; as I slowed down my car at a traffic signal, a eunuch approached to beg for money. This is a common sight and a brutal reality in India, eunuchs usually extract rather than beg and out of fear of unpleasantness most spare some loose change. Over-dressed as a woman this person appeared fairly well-to-do and healthy, probably with some elementary education. Usually eunuchs approach only men, but with changing times they have re-defined their targets and increased their catchment areas.

She came towards my closed window and gestured for money. The coins section next to the gear shaft was empty; I scraped every nook of my handbag as thoroughly as I could but to no avail. Giving into the urgency created by the traffic signal timer, I just gave her a Rs. 50/- note (about a US dollar) as it was immediately accessible.

All this while she was observing my struggle; as I rolled down my car window and gave her the money, it all happened in a moment. On her face were the mixed expressions of gratitude, peace, fulfilment, and suddenly, she seemed to have worn a dignified bearing. No it wasn’t something as simple as joy over getting a hefty donation; it wasn’t the expression of having ended her workday with this single interaction. Her gentle smile connoted something deeper and far more sincere. As I zoomed off I felt a strange sense of contentment.

In that singular moment, I felt, that time had frozen. This beautiful moment filled the rest of my day. No words were exchanged, nothing really “happened”. I pondered over the look in the eunuch’s eyes. In my memory I only see her eyes, her expression; the ambient details have failed to register.

I had shown her genuine whole-hearted respect, there wasn’t an iota of contempt or judgement in my intent. There wasn’t any pity in my expression either. She must have felt this; probably for the first time in her life, she was treated like a normal human being, with dignity and respect. In that moment, she wasn’t a eunuch, neither was she a beggar, nor I the benevolent large-hearted donor; she and I were just two persons. It was a moment when two human beings shared what one had and the other didn’t, there was no “giving-taking” or “donation”, just respectful sharing. This, I guess, had opened her innate humane self, which was not the superficial persona she portrayed. Later, I realized that it was a moment when she and I had transcended our social identities which are defined by financial status, education, etc. We felt Universal Love.

She received with dignity what I had shared with respect. This had created a moment of stillness, wherein she and I were just two souls. I am trying hard to capture the look in her eyes, let me try again – think of a person who is fully at peace, with deep contentment, serene and yes, divine, that’s the word – she felt that the divinity in her was acknowledged. Eunuchs are usually treated with inhumane contempt and are often abused. They are social outcasts, pitied, mocked and accused of crimes. For a moment, probably for the first time, she was treated as her highest self. This one moment tore off all the veils of social identities and judgements which ail human society.

If only we could put our limiting identities or ego on hold for an instant, we could see the Divine in another.

I had a similar experience with a janitor once at a shopping mall. This lady worked her shifts in cleaning and waiting in the women’s washroom. On my way out, hurried as ever, I handed her a ten rupee note; she hesitated, declined the offer but as I gently insisted, she accepted. Again, this moment left me so fulfilled; not with a sense of being the “good-guy” but a sense of deep oneness with another soul.

That seems to be it – oneness with another soul – when all the judgements, egos, complexes quite down for even just a tiny moment, something Universal opens up and fills us with deep sense of peace and contentment. This is what my Spiritual Guide has been teaching me about all this while – oneness, unconditional Universal Love.

The eunuch, the janitor and I are all the same at a deeper level. Everyone deserves a dignified, respectful treatment. There’s nothing more divine than being human in the truest sense.  

Grudgingly, I have to accept that even those whom I do not like, and would like to keep a distance from, are one with me at a deeper level.L